We all want more.
Money, followers, influence, achievement, peace, rest, friends, meaning, purpose.
Why do we want more of these things. Simply, we want to be happy, and we want more happiness. And we think these things will bring happiness to us.
We have an assumption: the problem is that we just don’t have enough of “X” yet. Once we get more, we’ll finally be able to be happy.
I’m not sure that’s ever really happened for anybody.
Story
Alexander the Great (326-323BC) became the king of Macedon (an ancient kingdom north of Greece) at the age of 20 when his father Philip II was assassinated. He immediately set out to do what his father was planning before his death: conquer the Persian Empire.
He marched through Asia Minor (modern day Turkey) defeating Persian forces, taking major cities, and winning countless battles. He eventually took control of all Persian land, wealth and prestige. He eventually made his way to India. In his twenties, he had conquered most of the known world. His empire stretched over 3000 miles from Greece to Egypt to India. The only problem was that it wasn’t the entire world.
Once Alexander reached India, his army refused to go any further and he decided he wouldn’t compel them to march by force. He had heard a philosopher named Anaxarchus talk about the possibility of an infinite number of worlds, and he began to weep. When he was asked why, he answered, “I am not yet lord of one.” (Source) Or, as Hans Gruber put it in Die Hard; “And when Alexander saw the breadth of his domain, he wept, for there were no more worlds to conquer.”
Everyone had hit their limit except Alexander. His success didn’t end his striving, it only increased it. His appetites could not be satisfied. The world was not enough for him. In the years that followed he drank heavily, executed close friends out of rage and spiraled out of control. He would die in Babylon at the age of 32 without an heir and his empire fell apart.
Truth
Fundamentally, we all want happiness. This is the core pursuit of humanity. No one told us we should want to be happy. We never stop to even consider whether or not happiness is a worthwhile goal. The United States Declaration of Independence shares this idea that the right to pursue happiness is a God-given right endowed to all people.
I think we should do everything that we can to pursue happiness. Being happy is a good thing, and it is a worthwhile goal.
The problem is not the pursuit of happiness. It is our definition.
Like Alexander, we can easily assume happiness arrives from some external source. Conquest, validation, achievement, status, wealth. If we can just get “more” then we’ll be happy. More money, more friends, more enlightenment, more peace, more approval from the right crowd…
It’s like climbing a mountain, believing that the peak is going to be worth it. Steven Covey thought about it like climbing a ladder. In Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, he wrote that we can spend our whole lives climbing the ladder of success only to discover it is leaning against the wrong wall.
The tragedy of Alexander is not that he failed. He achieved total victory. The problem was his definition of success.
Aristotle — Alexander’s own tutor — divided the things we pursue into two categories: limited goods and unlimited goods.
Limited goods are things that run out (hence the term “limited”) . Money, power, fame, status. They are real and they matter, but they are means, not ends. “Money is evidently not the good we are seeking,” Aristotle wrote, “for it is merely useful for the sake of something else.” Limited goods aren’t just limited in their supply, they are also limited in how much they will actually contribute to your happiness.
Unlimited goods work differently. Wisdom, courage, justice, love. These do not run out. They are also unlimited in how much they help you be happy. The more you pursue them, the better your life becomes. They cannot be taken away from you by anything you can’t control.
We have placed the ladder on the wrong wall when we think that having more limited goods will make us happy.
We have placed the ladder on the right wall when we know that having more unlimited goods will lead to our happiness.
The Stoics built their entire philosophy on this distinction. Happiness is not something that comes to you as a result of external validation. It is something you cultivate — through living a life of virtue. Culture changes. Circumstances change. Feelings change. Definitions of success can change based on many factors. Virtue doesn’t change. Virtues are things that are always right, always good and always true.
In other words, we should pursue happiness. But we should also be intentional about happiness’ definition. Happiness isn’t about having more, it’s about being more.
We won’t gain happiness by conquest. Happiness comes as a result of building our character.
Practice
Marcus Aurelius wrote in Meditations: “You must have these principles at hand both night and day; you must write them down; you must read them.”
Our life is filled with decisions. The decisions we make are a result of a criteria we have internally. Those are called our values.
When we make a decision, of course we are attempting to make a good one. What causes the distinction between a good and bad decision? The criteria we use.
You and I have values, but not every value is a virtue. In other words, we all have criteria for making decisions. Not all our criteria are always right, always good and always true. Some of my criteria are limited goods.
In order to be happy, as much of my criteria as possible should be virtuous (unlimited good).
So, this week /
Think about the kind of unlimited goods you’d like to pursue. What thing that is always right, good and true would make you truly happy (make you a better person)?
Consider the decisions you have to make.
Assess their goodness. Which option leads you more towards an unlimited good?
Thank you I needed to read this!!